Not every feeling needs the same response. A small wobble needs three slow breaths; a feeling that is too big needs a grown-up. This chart teaches children to size a feeling first, and then pick the matching step, which is a big part of learning to regulate.
What is on it
Three rows: Small ("A little wobbly", take three slow breaths), Medium ("Getting bigger", use one tool from the calm corner) and Big ("Too big for me", ask a grown-up for help), each with a face and a color, plus a note for grown-ups.
Who it is for
Children from about four to ten. Younger children learn to point to a size; older children start to notice when a small feeling is being treated like a big one. It is also useful for siblings and classrooms, because it gives everyone the same language for how upset someone is.
How to use it
- Hang it next to the calm corner or on the fridge.
- Ask "How big is your feeling?" and let your child point. Pointing is easier than talking when upset.
- Do the action that matches the size, together.
- Afterwards, notice out loud when a big feeling shrank to a small one.
Tips
- Every size is okay. The chart is about choosing a response, not judging the feeling.
- Use it for happy and excited feelings too; big excitement also needs managing.
Keep going
Pair it with the How Do I Feel Today? chart for naming feelings, and read our parent guide to breathing exercises for the "small feeling" step.
US Letter, one page, full color (it also prints fine in black and white, and on A4 with "fit to page"). Free for home, classroom and therapy use; please share the link rather than re-uploading the file. More on our free tools and printables page.
